SOURCE: Manila Bulletin - Thursday, January 20
Couples divorce most commonly because of unfaithfulness, inability to communicate, abuse and mental illness, control, differences in personality, and differences in goals and views.
More and more couples are filing for divorce in modern society. After trying to save their marriage in their own ways, some couples finally opt for divorce. Here are the most common reasons why couples divorce:
Unfaithfulness or infidelity is one of the main reasons why couples divorce. A spouse may become unfaithful because of family problems and other marital issues that the family and the couple fail to resolve. Although others argue that marital failure causes infidelity, it is still for this reason that about one-third of divorce cases in the United States are filed.
Inability to communicate
Communication is one of the secrets to a healthy and lasting relationship, including marriage. Couples need to be open with each other about their plans, problems and accomplishments at work and at home, their concerns, and other personal issues. This will help them grow and build a stronger relationship. Both couples need to speak and listen to each other. Without an open line of communication, the foundation will grow weaker, thus the union. Many couples opt for divorce because they feel like they are becoming strangers more and more each day. They feel problems are just too big and impossible to resolve. They feel they are better off without each other.
Abuse and mental illness
Among all the reasons, abuse is the most acceptable grounds for divorce. There are many types of abuse that have been the cause of divorces among couples. These include physical, emotional, psychological, and even sexual abuse. Some spouses think they know the true color of their partners until they are married or until they have children. In time, some spouses, most often husbands, show abusive behavior that violates human rights. Some of these partners are actually mentally ill or unstable. For example, some husbands beat their wives and their kids, some put their spouses to shame in front of other people, and others abuse their partners or kids sexually.
When it comes to marriage, it takes a lot of humility to save a sacred relationship. Both partners must learn when to control and speak up and when to stay humble and submissive; otherwise, there would be neverending fights between spouses. Marriages in which both spouses always want control or to be dominant over the other will likely end in divorce.
Differences in personality
Another reason why couples divorce is differences in personality. One may find the other's personality too much to handle. He or she may be too lazy to work for the welfare of the family or may not care about the kids when it comes to educating and rearing them. The husband may be too dominating while the wife is too silent, making the house an unfit place for the children to be raised.
Differences in goals and views
To make relationships last, couples also need to share the same goals and same plans. Spouses need to reconcile differences in goals and opinions in order to stay strong and have a fruitful future ahead. When differences become irreconcilable, couples seek a divorce. There may be some issues that couples find difficult to settle, including having and raising children, career goals, in-law issues, different expectations regarding household responsibilities, as well as religious beliefs.
Other reasons for divorce include abandonment, financial issues, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, intellectual incompatibility, and criminal acts. Whatever your marital problems are, do not hesitate to seek advice from a divorce lawyer in your area. You may find one by browsing your local directory. You may also search the Internet by keying in "Divorce Attorney Bloomfield" if you are from Bloomfield, for instance.