I still have sex with my gay husband

by Joe Mellor, Daily Mirror

To the people in their village, Karl and Janet Lacks seem like the perfect couple. They have been married for almost 30 years, have four gorgeous kids and live in a stunning country cottage.

But things aren’t that simple because for seven years Jan has been sharing her husband – with other men.

She hasn’t left him. She hasn’t punished him for his betrayal. She has accepted the fact that he is attracted to men and done all she can to make him happy. She has allowed him to sleep with other men and continues to sleep with him herself.

“It seems incredible, but I didn’t know what else to do,” admits Jan, 55. “I didn’t want to lose him, and this was the only compromise I could think of.”

Karl’s revelation in 2003 can’t have come as a complete surprise for Jan because, before the couple married in their 20s, he admitted he had slept with someone else before her – a man. “I was shocked,” recalls Jan. “But we were so much in love I was sure I could make it work.”

The couple made a life in the West Midlands, and while Jan brought up their daughters, Karl was the breadwinner as a warehouse worker. Things went unremarkably for more than 20 years, until Karl dropped his bombshell.

“He told me he couldn’t hide his feelings any more,” recalls Jan. “He said he needed men for a physical relationship. I was numb. Why wasn’t I enough for him? I knew our sex life wasn’t quite right, but I never thought it would come to this.

“I was upset, but resigned to make him happy. I accepted what he said. That night we stayed together. He was still my husband. We talked and decided he could seek out someone to help with his feelings.”

The couple agreed Karl should use internet dating sites to find gay men for sex.

After a few weeks he met up with several men on separate occasions, but there was no spark between them. Then he met 17-year-old Joseph. The pair fell for each other and soon were in a fully-blown emotional and physical relationship. Jan’s plan to keep Karl sexually satisfied and emotionally loyal to her had backfired.

“He had fallen for a boy who was younger than our daughters,” recalls Jan. “Karl’s being gay made me question myself and my femininity many times. But for me Karl’s best interests were paramount. I was heartbroken to think that he had fallen in love with someone else.

“It felt as if everything I believed in meant nothing – the home we made, the family we cherished, the dreams we shared, were all a lie. He had been living a lie, but then again, so had I.

“He said their relationship was more than sex. He was physically and emotionally attached.

“I was so hurt,” she says. “I could just about cope with his physical relationship but when he actually fell in love with Joseph it felt like he had betrayed me. I was really sad. Our shared history and family meant nothing.”

Finally, the couple decided to separate, and Karl moved into a small cottage on his own. Jan also found a lover on an internet dating site and they started an intense but sporadic sexual relationship, which left her feeling more lost and disillusioned than she had ever felt.

She was also going through financial difficulties, so when the lease was up on Karl’s cottage, he asked if she and the girls would like to live with him again. At the time he was severely disabled with arthritis and Jan was glad to help him through two hip replacements. 

“When I saw how brave he was during those operations, I realised that I cherished the time we spent together, and that I wanted Karl and I to grow old together,” says Jan.

Their relationship certainly wasn’t conventional – the whole family knew it. But somehow it felt right. Jan had been sad, angry and even jealous at times. But she still felt there was something worth saving.

“When we were together we just felt comfortable. I guess love is a strange emotion and one you can’t control.”

Then, in 2005, Joseph dumped Karl. Jan was torn between relief and pity.

“He stood there in floods of tears. I walked over and held him in my arms. I still loved him so much,” she says.

The next day, the couple decided they needed a fresh start and began looking for a new home.

“We found a cosy little cottage just down the lane. It was a symbol that things were going to change,” says Jan.

As difficult as it might be to understand why Jan would choose to stay in a relationship with a gay man, she insists it felt like the most natural solution.

“There has been no blaring Scissor Sisters music, or donning of feather boas and pink cowboys hats,” she says.

“Karl was a regular husband and dad without a camp bone in his body – and still is. Of course I wish Karl was straight, but the fact is he’s not, and I’m still proud to call him my husband.

“When I look at Karl I see the man I married. Just because he is attracted to men doesn’t mean he and I can’t be a couple.”

Jan and Karl still sleep with each other, even though she knows he has sex with men. “It’s hard for me because I know he has been with other partners – male ones at that – during our marriage. But when the bedroom door is closed the only people who matter are me and him.”

Karl, 55, has known he is gay since he was about 11.

“These days, if you come out people as gay hardly bat an eyelid. But everyone I grew up with was homophobic, including my parents,” says Karl.

“My mother couldn’t understand how a man could be in a sexual relationship with another. There was no way I could tell her I was gay and she still doesn’t know.”

Karl says living life as a straight man was a conscious choice he made in his 20s.

“Somewhat immaturely, I made the decision that I wasn’t going to be gay. I wanted a family.”

So did he take advantage of Jan’s love for him to make a cover for himself?

“I didn’t use Jan to start a family,” he insists. “I genuinely loved her and still do, and in the early days we had a healthy sex life. I genuinely tried to put aside the feelings I had towards men, but every now and then they would re-emerge.

“When Joseph came into my life, I tried to fight it with all my heart. He was a teenager and I was a married man. The guilt nearly killed me. He was everything I never was, but wanted to be. He was open about being gay. I envied him. When he left me I was heartbroken.

“My relationship with Jan, like any other, is all about compromise, and this is more than any man could expect his wife to compromise on.

“I’m very lucky indeed to have such a wonderful woman in my life.”

SOURCE: http://www.mirror.co.uk

My son is gay

Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.

I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.

Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:

1. My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.
2. He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
3. Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
4. My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
5. Boo’s best friend is a little girl
6. Boo has an older sister
7. Boo spends most of his time with me.
8. I am a woman.
9. I am Boo’s mother, not you.

So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago.  I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.

Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?

And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A  COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.

And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock  and dismay.

And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.

My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.

Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)

But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.

If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.

But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.

Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’  Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.

It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.

And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.

I hope I am doing that.

And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

source: http://nerdyapplebottom.com/

Cyprus leader: Homosexuality like bestiality, necrophilia

 By Ruth Schneider, 365gay.com

 
Cyprus Parliament member Andreas Themistocleous made comments last week that stoked outrage on the Internet after he called gays and lesbians social deviants.

Themistocleous comments compared homosexuality to pedophilia, bestiality and necrophilia.

In a debate about same-sex marriage reform in Cyprus, he said, “Just because there exist among us pedophiles, people who practice bestiality, necrophiliacs and other criminals, should the state legitimize their status too?” the Cyprus Mail reported.

Protests of the comments sparked both a Facebook page that had more than 1,000 fans and a letter-writing campaign on a Cyprus blog site.

Giorgis Renginos, a spokesman for an LGBT group told Cyprus Mail there needs to be a focus on education.

“What we want to do is educate the public about homosexuality. There are so many misconceptions out there, for example that all pedophiles are homosexuals or that gays prey on young people or that they try to ‘convert’ them,” said Renginos. “It’s time to set the record straight.”

President blames modern diet for gays and baldness

BY: TOM HENNIGAN, www.irishtimes.com

BOLIVIAN PRESIDENT Evo Morales has blamed “deviations” such as homosexuality and widespread baldness in Europe on modern diet.

“The chicken that we eat is full of female hormones. Because of this the men who eat this chicken have deviations in their being as men,” he said at the opening of a conference on climate change in Bolivia on Tuesday.

He also blamed widespread baldness in Europe, which he labelled a “sickness”, on the diet of Europeans. “They are almost all bald and this is because of the things they eat, while among the indigenous peoples there are no bald people because we eat other things,” said the president, a lustrously haired Aymara Indian.

Mr Morales said industrialised western powers were responsible for bringing “more and more poison” into the world, warning that “within 50 years everyone will be bald”.

He was speaking at the opening of the People’s World Conference on Climate Change and the Rights of Mother Earth in the town of Tiquipaya, central Bolivia. It is being attended by five left-wing Latin American leaders and 15,000 activists. Organisers say it is a left-wing alternative to the failed climate talks in Copenhagen last year.

Warning his audience that “either capitalism dies or Mother Earth dies”, Mr Morales called for the creation of an international organisation of social movements to push governments into signing a comprehensive deal to combat climate change at a conference to be held in Mexico in November.

In his wide-ranging address, Mr Morales also claimed that drinking Coca-Cola damaged your health.

Earlier this month a government-backed alternative to the US soft drink went on sale in Bolivia. Called Coca-Colla, after Bolivia’s indigenous peoples, it is made from coca leaf, which has been used in the Andes for centuries as a stimulant in medicine and rituals. Coca is also the base ingredient for cocaine.

Bolivia is the world’s third biggest producer of cocaine.

Saudi Gay Scene: 'Forbidden, but I can't Help It' -- Across the Middle East, Many Struggle With the Stigma of Homosexuality

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Islam 'recognizes homosexuality'

Abdul Khalik , The Jakarta Post , Jakarta | Fri, 03/28/2008 1:38 AM 

Homosexuals and homosexuality are natural and created by God, thus permissible within Islam, a discussion concluded here Thursday.

Moderate Muslim scholars said there were no reasons to reject homosexuals under Islam, and that the condemnation of homosexuals and homosexuality by mainstream ulema and many other Muslims was based on narrow-minded interpretations of Islamic teachings.

Siti Musdah Mulia of the Indonesia Conference of Religions and Peace cited the Koran's al-Hujurat (49:3) that one of the blessings for human beings was that all men and women are equal, regardless of ethnicity, wealth, social positions or even sexual orientation.

"There is no difference between lesbians and nonlesbians. In the eyes of God, people are valued based on their piety," she told the discussion organized by nongovernmental organization Arus Pelangi.

"And talking about piety is God's prerogative to judge," she added.

"The essence of the religion (Islam) is to humanize humans, respect and dignify them."

Musdah said homosexuality was from God and should be considered natural, adding it was not pushed only by passion.

Mata Air magazine managing editor Soffa Ihsan said Islam's acknowledgement of heterogeneity should also include homosexuality.

He said Muslims needed to continue to embrace ijtihad (the process of making a legal decision by independent interpretation of the Koran and the Sunnah) to avoid being stuck in the old paradigm without developing open-minded interpretations.

Another speaker at the discussion, Nurofiah of the Nahdlatul Ulama (NU), said the dominant notion of heterogeneity was a social construction, leading to the banning of homosexuality by the majority.

"Like gender bias or patriarchy, heterogeneity bias is socially constructed. It would be totally different if the ruling group was homosexuals," she said.

Other speakers said the magnificence of Islam was that it could be blended and integrated into local culture.

"In fact, Indonesia's culture has accepted homosexuality. The homosexual group in Bugis-Makassar tradition called Bissu is respected and given a high position in the kingdom.

"Also, we know that in Ponorogo (East Java) there has been acknowledgement of homosexuality," Arus Pelangi head Rido Triawan said.

Condemnation of homosexuality was voiced by two conservative Muslim groups, the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) and Hizbut Thahir Indonesia (HTI).

"It's a sin. We will not consider homosexuals an enemy, but we will make them aware that what they are doing is wrong," MUI deputy chairman Amir Syarifuddin said.

Rokhmat, of the hardline HTI, several times asked homosexual participants in attendance to repent and force themselves to gradually return to the right path.

Catholic School Kicks Out Student with Gay Parents

The Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com) reported this:

BOULDER, Colo. — A Catholic school in Colorado is kicking out a preschooler because the child's parents are lesbians.

The child will not be allowed to re-enroll next year at Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School. The Denver Archdiocese posted a statement Friday that the parents are "living in open discord with Catholic teaching."

The statement says students in Catholic schools are expected to have parents who abide by policies of the school and church. The Archdiocese said students with gay parents in Catholic schools would become "confused."

The school's decision was first reported Friday by KUSA-TV in Denver.

The Archdiocese of Denver also released this in answer to the issue:

March 5, 2010

Statement of the Archdiocese of Denver on Catholic School

Admissions Policy

A principal reason parents place their children in Archdiocese of Denver Schools is to

reinforce the Catholic beliefs and values that the family seeks to live at home. To

preserve the mission of our schools, and to respect the faith of wider Catholic

community, we expect all families who enroll students to live in accord with Catholic

teaching. Our admission policy states clearly, “No person shall be admitted as a student

in any Catholic school unless that person and his/her parent(s) subscribe to the school’s

philosophy and agree to abide by the educational policies and regulations of the school

and Archdiocese.”

Parents living in open discord with Catholic teaching in areas of faith and morals

unfortunately choose by their actions to disqualify their children from enrollment. To

allow children in these circumstances to continue in our school would be a cause of

confusion for the student in that what they are being taught in school conflicts with what

they experience in the home.

We communicated the policy to the couple at Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School as

soon as we realized the situation. We discussed the reasons with them and have sought to

respond in a way that does not abruptly displace the student but at the same time respects

the integrity of the Catholic school’s philosophy.

MY TAKE:

You be the judge. My question is, would it be the fault of the child if he has gay parents when the child when adopted or born from a gay parent never had the chance and the right to choose. If being gay is against the teachings of the Catholic faith, then THE SCHOOL SHOULD ALSO BOOT OUT CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS as divorce is not accepted by the catholic church.

THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL

Czech politician quits over gay, Jewish comments and other stories about gay rights: VERY DISGUSTINGLY INTERESTING

Here is a sort of a round up of what's going on in various countries which has something to do with the gay community. 

First stop is Prague, where a government official of the Czech Republic drew flak over his remarks about Jews, the Catholic Church and gays causing him to resign as chairman of his conservative political party, Mirek Topolanek had been under strong pressure from within his Civic Democratic Party to step down following the comments to the editorial staff of the gay magazine Lui. He announced last week that he would not lead his party's campaign in a May 28-29 election or run as a candidate. 

“He said that Transport Minister Gustav Slamecka is a homosexual who "gives in" when he faces a serious problem." About Prime Minister Jan Fischer, he said, "he's simply a Jew; he's not gay and he gives in even sooner." Fischer is Jewish. Slamecka has not publicly commented on his sexual orientation”. Topolanek also accused the Roman Catholic church of "brainwashing" believers. 

Later on, he said in a statement "I apologize to gays - friends of mine and others," Topolanek said in a statement. "I apologize to church members - those I know and those I don't know. I apologize to Jews - politicians and all the others. I apologize to the citizens." 

This is an example of a pervert, a man who cannot control his mouth and forgets his status in his country. At least he had the decency to accept his outrageous remarks and resigned.

In India, the  federal government has told the Delhi High Court that homosexuality is the result of a perverse mind and should not be decriminalized, this made my pressure rise. In a brief,  brief filed this week with the court, the government said that if the country’s sodomy law is overturned it could have an impact on Indian culture, what culture are they talking about when this week, India will be releasing their first Bollywood movie featuring a first gay kiss on the big screen.   

LGBT rights groups and AIDS outreach organizations told the court last month that the law is anachronistic, impedes civil rights and blocks AIDS groups’ abilities to reach out to gays.

This law against homosexual sex that dates to the British colonial era forbids sexual acts which they said are “against the order of nature,” carries punishment of up to 10 years in prison.

Last month during oral arguments before the court the government said the law should be maintained because homosexuality was a disease which was responsible for the spread of AIDS in the country. Really, and the government of India only limits their understanding that homosexuality is the ONLY reason that their is a spread of the HIV. What a government, what a reckless proposition, even saying that Homosexuality is a disease. “Show us one report which says that it is a disease. A [World Health Organization] paper says that it is not a disease but you are describing it as a disease. It is an accepted fact that it is a main vehicle that causes [the AIDS] disease but it is not a disease itself,” demanded Chief Justice AP Shah.

Now tell me, if homosexuality is a disease, what do we call corruption in government, social injustice and failure of the government to address the needs of the majority of the poor in India, JAI HO? I call it a crime, more than a disease!

Elsewhere in Iran, more than 300 gays have left Iran since last June’s election of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Washington Post reports. Many have fled to Turkey seeking asylum, where they await help from the United Nations to place them in the United States, Canada, Western Europe or Australia. In Iran, being gay is punishable with death. Turkey, in contrast, has relatively secular attitudes. Goodness, I said it before and I will say it again, good thing I live in the Philippines for very obvious reasons. 

 Gays executed in Iran, now the living are leaving.

JUSTICE SHOULD PREVAIL IN IRAN. STOP KILLING GAYS AND GIVE THEM THE RIGHT THEY DESERVE. 

 

The  man who is afraid that gays will topple his presidency..

IT IS A CRIME TO BE GAY IN IRAN, LIKE UGANDA

Last stop, Baltimore, Maryland where donations are pouring in for a fallen Marine’s father who was ordered to pay the court costs of an anti-gay church he’s been battling, the court ordered him to pay 16,510 US dollars in court costs to Fred Phelps, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church.  Westboro members picketed the Maryland funeral of Snyder’s son, Matthew.  

The church contends U.S. military deaths are God’s punishment for tolerance of homosexuality. Albert Snyder sued the church. The U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear the case. Shall I say, deaths also of our soldiers in Basilan and the Ampatuan massacre was also because of their tolerance of gays? WHAT KIND OF BRAIN DOES THIS PASTOR HAVE? Utak talangka or tilapia, i bet. Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly has pledged to pay the court costs. 

 The crazy nut, Fred Phelps.

Yes He does, but not you!

and the next photo is for you pastor, from all of us.

you should rot in hell! 

GREAT ROUND UP!