BY: JOHNNY WAYNE
How one knows that her marriage is in trouble? There are a lot of issues facing both the husband and the wife regarding their married life. Issues that have brought devastating effect to the bond of their love, it can be an issue of third party, lost of interest of the partner, arguments that seemed to be occurring regularly and issue that the relationship is not working anymore.
Marriage as we all know is a sacred bond and a commitment promised by 2 persons that they will love unconditionally until the end of time. Marriage is not tested on the day the 2 persons exchange their vows to one another, but it is truly tested on the time they will spend their lives together in one house as they start to establish a family and raise their children of their own. On the first few years, married life for the couple is like on the honeymoon stage, savoring the moment of love and connection. As time goes by, the couple will get to know more of the personalities they both have, their flaws and even their bad habits - snoring while asleep, leaving unwashed dishes, untidy room, unfolded clothes. As such, it can be one of the reasons of argument between the two, it may just be an ordinary argument but it can stem to severe quarrels. When the partner ask "how can I save the marriage?", then there is really something wrong with the relationship. How can the couple say that their marriage is in trouble?
Here are some signs that will help the couple decide that marriage should be worked out:
1. You do not find your partner lovely, and think of him/her as annoying instead.
2. You go over the same arguments again and again.
3. You no longer walk holding hands. There is a space between the two of you while walking.
4. Your husband changes his appearance with his new polo shirt, sprays cologne over his body and shaves often.
5. You have different activities for a day instead of watching TV together and do walking early in the morning.
6. You sleep with different bed or worst, on different rooms.
7. You no longer laugh at your own mistakes; instead find the mistake as a bullet point for your partner during an argument.
8. You consider the married life as a routine and not a commitment.
9. You no longer ask your partner how his/her day was.
10. You focus more on the flaws of your partner and become defensive when being noticed.
11. You feel like you are the only one who is reaching and working out for the marriage.
12. When a partner is asked where he/she came from, he/she gets mad and accuses the partner of being too malicious.
Truly, marriage is not a simple commitment to make. It is not similar to wearing a dress that when you are used to it and feels like it is no longer fashionable to wear, you can give it to others or keep it inside the cabinet until it gets damaged and becomes trashed. I say, marriage is not at all happy times. It comes with tears and laughter at the same time that makes the marriage more exciting and an experience to learn to become better. No one can easily leave the marriage behind because it only means that you also leave your responsibilities for your family. One can only say that marriage is in trouble when signs are present and when this is really happening. Take time to talk with your partner, as much as possible and do counseling and respect each other's view. I have known lots of couple who at their 25 years of married life, they still are the same as before, sweet and loving to one another. As such, those warning signs would not happen if the couple from the very start deeply love each other and accept each one whole heartily despite their indifference and flaws.