Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.
1.Communicate with him respectfully.
2.Regard him as important and let him know he's important to you.
3.Do everything you can to at least understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4.Be interested in his friends and occasionally give him time with them (if they are trust-worthy men).
5.Ask for his opinion and let him know you value what he says.
6.Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7.Let him feel your approval and affections.
8.Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9.Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10.Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11.Avoid sudden major changes without discussion giving him time to adjust.
12.When you go out on a date together don't bring up problems—reserve that time to one of having fun together.
13.Focus on what he's doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14.Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15.Correct him gently and in private.
16.Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for the way the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes of seeing each other a more positive experience if possible. (And then ease into the negative if it's necessary.)
17.Make special time available to him apart from the children.
18.Don't allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. You should be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.
19.Compliment him often.
20.Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21.Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.
22.Don't over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23.Be forgiving when he offends you.
24.Find ways to show him you need him.
25.Encourage alone time for him when it's possible. (This energizes him to reconnect with you at other times.)
26.Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27.Defend him to anyone who is being disrespectful in their talk about him, remembering that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28.Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29.Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30.Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31.Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he's not tired).
32.Write him a letter occasionally, telling him how much you love him.
33.Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind.
34.Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35.Tell him how proud you are of him.
36.Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37.Help your husband to be the Spiritual head of the home (without "lording" it over him that you're helping).
38.Look for ways to reserve some of your energies for him so you're not so tired when he wants and needs you sexually.
39.Don't expect him to do projects beyond his capabilities. All men aren't born equal in this area of expertise.
40.Pray for him to enjoy God's best in life.
41.Take the time to notice what he has done for you and the family.
42.Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he's not there.
43.Share your thoughts and feelings with him (but keep it brief when he's tired—sometimes men can feel "flooded" by too many words).
44.Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45.Honor him in front of the children (and differ respectfully in private when it's necessary).
46.Give him time to unwind for a few minutes after coming home from work, and then take your "time out", giving him a few minutes with the children.
47.Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it's a sacrifice worth making.)
48.Be his "help-mate" in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49.Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or driving quietly in a car) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50.Be a student of your husband's ways so you can show your love for him in ways he'll better comprehend it.
51.When your husband is in a bad mood—give him quiet time to recover.
52.Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when he needs your help.
53.Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: "Handle With Care".
54.Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55.Be kind & thoughtful to his relatives. Don't make him choose between you & them.
56.Don't compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57.Thank him for things he's done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58.Don't expect credit for all you do for him and the household. Do it as "unto the Lord".
59.Make sure he understands everything important that you're planning to do.
60.Do little things for him—an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed, etc.
61.Don't belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62.Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63.Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to "work" at home.
64.Get to the point in your discussions with him. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65.Discover his sexual needs.
66.Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67.Wink at him from across the room when you're out at a group function.
68.Give him the benefit of the doubt when he says things in a wrong way. Think, "What's he really trying to say?"
69.Don't quarrel over words.
70.Don't forget to use common courtesies with your husband. (Too often we're kinder to strangers than we are to our own spouse.)
71.When something goes wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72.Never say, "I told you so."
73.Don't argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74.Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75.Hold his hand in public. Snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76.Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones. (And if you need to discuss the bad ones do so respectfully, looking for ways to make better decisions in the future.)
77.Tell him you love him often.
78.Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79.Sit with him while he's watching television—even if the program doesn't interest you.
80.Don't ask of him to read your mind. (Family's are spared the grief when a husband isn't required to read their wife's mind despite the fact that the woman thinks he should.)
81.Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82.Check with him before you throw away his junky looking papers. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)
83.Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84.Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85.Carefully choose your words, especially when angry—remembering, as the Bible says, to "speak the truth in LOVE".
86.Don't criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87.Visit his childhood home with him.
88.When you're angry with him, express it in ways that are respectful. Don't give him the silent treatment.
89.Pray for him.
90.Make him homemade soup when he's sick.
91.Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.
92.Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93.Don't disagree with him in front of the children.
94.Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95.Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.
96.Be gracious in teaching him how to show you ways that will demonstrate his love for you.
97.Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98.Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99.Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
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